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September 30, 2012

"The blond ones seem really dumb and are becomingextinct. What should I do? I know! Give 'em big boobs! "

September 29, 2012

"I know this was your dream job but..."

September 28, 2012

"Do you realize what this find means, Jones!!"

September 27, 2012

"Your honor, my client is suing the defendant for having a huge dick and now no normal dick will satisfy her."

September 26, 2012

"And you all scoffed at my tits! But now when you need them I'm you're my best friend!"

September 25, 2012

"My girl dumped me because I kept accusing her of cheating on me with my friend Buck... When it was actually Fred... She found it insulting."

September 24, 2012

"He calls himself Jack the Ripper. I think it means he like to fuck hard. I think I'll see where this one goes."

September 23, 2012

"Let's face it, the sex was great but we're from two different worlds. It'd never work out."

September 22, 2012

"Okay, wait... Not that it matters, but your positive you're stinking rich... I mean, absolutely positive and that bank statement is not falsified?"

September 21, 2012

"I really want this girl to notice me... Is it possible to make my dick and muscles out of diamonds?"

September 20, 2012

"Okay, I see now that I am pretty much caught fucking your sister... That this was a bad idea on my part."

September 19, 2012

"We reattached it... Next time you want to enlarge your dick to impress a girl... Don't go bungee jumping..."

September 18, 2012

"I want to fuck really bad but I think this might be a bad time."

September 17, 2012

"If you were to be the greatest fuck of my life... My life sucks."

September 16, 2012

"I knew this was a hopeless love affair... Fuck me for being such a fucking optimistic guy!"

September 15, 2012

"Oh, I see you met Buck... he's in porn."

September 14, 2012

"I'm your new boss, I'm gay and I expect you to do your job. I quit."

September 13, 2012

"My mother always told me I had terrible taste in women... I can't even pick women!"

September 12, 2012

"With the economy in the tank I had to give up hookers... life ain't worth living!"

September 11, 2012

"This is making me really horny, sir."

September 10, 2012

September 9, 2012

"Aw, how cute! I want one! I want a bigger one! He is a gateway penis."

September 8, 2012

"This is extremely rare, I've never seen such beautiful stars... Knock it off, Allen, I know you are watching the lesbians in the apartment across the street."

September 7, 2012

"Nobody will disturb us... I have a dildo shaped phone... It's always set on vibrate."

September 6, 2012

"I'll start on the boobs and finish the rest later."

September 5, 2012

"That's not what assets are, miss."

September 4, 2012

"I told you I was working on my lap... I never said laptop."

September 3, 2012

"No, you only call 911 for emergencies... not because of painful anal, hon."

September 2, 2012

"The fall of the amazons. Am I the only one feeling horny?"

September 1, 2012

"You said you never talked to our neighbor. I didn't... we just fucked all the time. "