September 30, 2012 |

"The blond ones seem really dumb and are becomingextinct. What should I do? I know! Give 'em big boobs! " |
September 29, 2012 |

"I know this was your dream job but..." |
September 28, 2012 |

"Do you realize what this find means, Jones!!" |
September 27, 2012 |

"Your honor, my client is suing the defendant for having a huge dick and now no normal dick will satisfy her." |
September 26, 2012 |

"And you all scoffed at my tits! But now when you need them I'm you're my best friend!" |
September 25, 2012 |

"My girl dumped me because I kept accusing her of cheating on me with my friend Buck... When it was actually Fred... She found it insulting." |
September 24, 2012 |

"He calls himself Jack the Ripper. I think it means he like to fuck hard. I think I'll see where this one goes." |
September 23, 2012 |

"Let's face it, the sex was great but we're from two different worlds. It'd never work out." |
September 22, 2012 |

"Okay, wait... Not that it matters, but your positive you're stinking rich... I mean, absolutely positive and that bank statement is not falsified?" |
September 21, 2012 |

"I really want this girl to notice me... Is it possible to make my dick and muscles out of diamonds?" |
September 20, 2012 |

"Okay, I see now that I am pretty much caught fucking your sister... That this was a bad idea on my part." |
September 19, 2012 |

"We reattached it... Next time you want to enlarge your dick to impress a girl... Don't go bungee jumping..." |
September 18, 2012 |

"I want to fuck really bad but I think this might be a bad time." |
September 17, 2012 |

"If you were to be the greatest fuck of my life... My life sucks." |
September 16, 2012 |

"I knew this was a hopeless love affair... Fuck me for being such a fucking optimistic guy!" |
September 15, 2012 |

"Oh, I see you met Buck... he's in porn." |
September 14, 2012 |

"I'm your new boss, I'm gay and I expect you to do your job. I quit." |
September 13, 2012 |

"My mother always told me I had terrible taste in women... I can't even pick women!" |
September 12, 2012 |

"With the economy in the tank I had to give up hookers... life ain't worth living!" |
September 11, 2012 |

"This is making me really horny, sir." |
September 10, 2012 |
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September 9, 2012 |

"Aw, how cute! I want one! I want a bigger one! He is a gateway penis." |
September 8, 2012 |

"This is extremely rare, I've never seen such beautiful stars... Knock it off, Allen, I know you are watching the lesbians in the apartment across the street." |
September 7, 2012 |

"Nobody will disturb us... I have a dildo shaped phone... It's always set on vibrate." |
September 6, 2012 |

"I'll start on the boobs and finish the rest later." |
September 5, 2012 |

"That's not what assets are, miss." |
September 4, 2012 |

"I told you I was working on my lap... I never said laptop." |
September 3, 2012 |

"No, you only call 911 for emergencies... not because of painful anal, hon." |
September 2, 2012 |

"The fall of the amazons. Am I the only one feeling horny?" |
September 1, 2012 |

"You said you never talked to our neighbor. I didn't... we just fucked all the time. " |