September 30, 2011 |

"Uh, I'd like another margarita when you’re done with that bottle." |
September 29, 2011 |

"The Hazards of Public Sex 32 - Oh shit... I think I just cumshot killed a squirrel! " |
September 28, 2011 |

"It’s a silicon sex doll… Practice and get back to me when you can fuck longer than 2 minutes." |
September 27, 2011 |

"Seriously, he’s arresting me! Shouldn’t I be the one blowing him!?" |
September 26, 2011 |

"Now, lets see how you fill this postion." |
September 25, 2011 |

"Suck, fuck, suck, fuck, suck, fuck… it’s never boring around here." |
September 24, 2011 |

"I’m a billionare, Jeeves. What the fuck do I need all this money for? I mean, besides hookers and blow! Well, they don’t come cheap, sir." |
September 23, 2011 |

"I know your secretary. I use to tap that ass and cum all over that bitch in college… Sandra somethin’... Sandra Jenkins now..." |
September 22, 2011 |

"It’s the oil man, honey... He’s going to lower our oil bill by10 cents if I sleep with him." |
September 21, 2011 |

"Hey, moron, that’s where I get off!" |
September 20, 2011 |

"Your craigslist ad said you were hot in the sack, but I didn’t figure you’d burn down my place." |
September 19, 2011 |

"Doc, I don’t know where you studied sex addiction, but how do you expect me to talk about it if your dick is always in my mouth?" |
September 18, 2011 |

"Oh, I thought I was here to be disciplined... I even brought my own whip." |
September 17, 2011 |

"I had to fuck the gas attendant again to pay for gas... It’s his new pump for gas policy." |
September 16, 2011 |

"There’s some lube so you can go fuck yourself!" |
September 15, 2011 |

"Today was the worst day ever... And unlike my boyfriend, who was too busy, your brother tried his best to cheer me up!" |
September 14, 2011 |

"Shit, watch where you swing that thing... I think you knocked out a tooth!" |
September 13, 2011 |

"Would you like your food to go?" |
September 12, 2011 |

"I am such a tease..." |
September 11, 2011 |

"Well, you asked for a long neck... We’re out of beer." |
September 10, 2011 |

"Psst. The bra, lady, lose the bra..." |
September 9, 2011 |

"Breaking news... The D.A. dismissed assault charges today in the Dominique Strauss-Kahn case... Checking the score we find ‘Rich white guys: 1 plus infinity... Poor immigrant women: Zero’." |
September 8, 2011 |

"Honey, I read somewhere that you should never wake someone who is sleep walking." |
September 7, 2011 |

"What was that doctor’s credentials again?" |
September 6, 2011 |

"Can I bum a couple of bucks for some food?" |
September 5, 2011 |

"You’re perfect for me, except in bed... As long as you keep me supplied with batteries for my vibrator…Then yes, I’ll marry you." |
September 4, 2011 |

"You tackled me and somehow got your dick in my ass... Why don’t more girls play football?" |
September 3, 2011 |

"He’s trained to bite off the nuts of any man who doesn’t make me orgasm." |
September 2, 2011 |

"How shit works in the world - Oil! I shall give it to the world as my gift! Think of all the sluts who will fuck you if you sell it! Oil! I shall sell it for the bitches!" |
September 1, 2011 |

"Don’t worry, I tell everyone it’s you who fucks the shit out of me. " |